Listen for the Bullshit

STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!

Why would you expect others to be honest with you when you haven’t been honest with yourself?

Before you haul off and snap your fingers and roll your neck in typical fashion, read what I’m about to write:

IF YOU ARE WILLING TO LIE TO YOURSELF, DO NOT EXPECT OTHERS TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

UNTETHERING FROM THE LIES

The crazy thing about human nature is we seek out and expect the one thing from other human beings we have within ourselves; the truth.

The truth of who we are and our value is often measured by what we allow in be it from friends, family, co-workers, society, social media, the things we read, the things we listen to, and the very things we say to ourselves.

Things we allow to “stick” become agreements we’ve made with the inundation of energy all around us. It’s very important to keep yourself insulated while you’re in the midst of this onslaught of overwhelming energetic flow.

So, how do you stay insulated? You could lock yourself away, disconnect from friends, family, co-workers, but that’s not the best practice.

We are social beings. We need to be around other people. Energy feeds energy, but here’s the beauty and the secret to how you insulate yourself: You get to choose at every moment of your life what you will allow to come in, and you get to choose what stays out.

Here’s a list of things I do to insulate myself, while still maintaining my ability to be social:

Write a list of gratitude; pick 5 things daily in which I’m grateful for be it people, things, conveniences, and the intangibles (Faith, Love, Fearlessness, Inspiration, etc) I write these down.
Reach out to 3 people per day whom I admire, follow, and/or love; I tell them I appreciate them and check-in to see how they’re doing.
I call my family almost every Sunday (no exceptions)
I make appointments for specific amounts of time. If an engagement is 3 hours, I stay for 2 hours citing I have something else to do. (Which I legitimately do because I’ve chosen to fill my time with other activities)
The moment I am uncomfortable, I locate the reason or source and listen to that signal. I ask myself why and identify whether I should leave or not.
Uphold a no-negativity policy: THIS ONE IS HUGELY IMPORTANT. The moment someone wants to “know the story,” or “stir the pot,” or drop some negative news on me. I usually ask, “Out of all of this, what’s positive?” If they can’t come up with something, walk away.
Ask questions. This is the best resource to drill down to the reason someone has come into your space is getting them to answer your specific questions. If they’re littered with what they think you want to hear, overthink, or start hesitating, or say things like, “You know, I don’t know,” it’s time to roll.
Music. I listen to various types of music, everything from Classical to Trap, Bass-infused rhythms, and energy filled melodies.
Reading. I read one book a week that gives me a different perspective of the world based on someone else’s view.
News and Newspapers: I read, listen and watch none of it. If there’s something I need to know, I seek out the source for the information. 3rd party accounts are generally riddled with positioning, posturing, and underlying interests.

INSULATION PRACTICES

There’s an exercise I do on a regular basis that most people think I’m crazy for doing, but who cares what other people think. I know that sounds arrogant, but at the end of the day, so is thinking they actually give a shit. I learned this exercise from someone I respect quite a bit and am humbled to know. His name is Marshall Sylver. Google him. You’ll make a new friend.

The exercise goes like this:

I go to the mirror. With my finger, I trace the outline of my face starting from the top. I trace the outlines of my eyebrows, then move my finger down the bridge of my nose to the tip, outline my lips and then stand back.

I’m standing straight up with my arms at my side. I look into my eyes and recite things I see and or want to see in myself:

“You are powerful.”

“You are strong.”

“You are wise.”

“You are a great friend.”

“You solve problems.”

“You are fearless.”

“You are a great father.”

“You are a generous friend.”

“You help people.”

“You are wealthy.”

“You know what it is you need to know when you need to know it, and you know what to do when you need to do it.”

“You are compassionate.”

These are just a few of the things I say to myself to help me insulate and keep me present in every moment of my life. When I start getting off track, I hit the mirror.

Notice the phrases lack negativity, past or future tenses. This exercise is to be conducted in the present, as you are, you talking to yourself.

Some deem this “self-talk,” “self-programming,” and maybe even “hypnosis,” but know that this is something that works for me. I’m not saying it will work for you, but if what you’re doing is not working in your life, try it and see if it does.

SAY WHAT YOU SEE, SO YOU CAN HEAR WHAT YOU SAY

I picked up a book a couple of years ago from Ryan Stewman called “Elevator to the Top.” It would be the first of many investments I made in myself for the first time in my life.

Ryan earned the moniker “Hardcore Closer,” because he’s consistently been able to take complex ideas, make them simple, and break-through many of the lies we tell ourselves. The result of being able to do so has made him the best objection handler on the planet, an unstoppable force, and someone well-respected in his industry by thousands of people because he’s been able to help transform their lives with being willing to share in honesty, empathy, and compassion.

There’s something he says that sticks with me to this day:

“Say what you see, so you can hear what you say.”

If you want something to appear in your life, you have to speak it into existence by saying it out loud. (If you’re reading this and discounting it already, this exercise will help you if you’re open to it, and if you suspend your disbelief for a moment). Remember, the same energy and thought expended to believe your lies will work for truths as well.

I am in the process of writing this out. It’s called, “The Perfect Day.” It’s the day you imagine would be perfect to live if you could live it over and over again. This will take a little time, but if you really hone in on what you want, you’ll be able to create a different reality for yourself.

THE PERFECT DAY EXERCISE

Grab a notebook and a pen. In fine detail, start cataloging your day and what it looks like from the time you wake up, to the time you go to bed. Leave nothing out.

Cite the time you wake up. What’s the first thing you do? Who are you waking up with, next to, if anyone? What do you eat for breakfast? Who do you have breakfast with? Where do you live? What does your house look like? What type of work do you do?

This is a very abbreviated outline of how to write your perfect day, but if you want a full idea of what this entails, go to YouTube and search Frank Kern’s Core Influence.

It’s important to write this out often, especially if you’re not living your perfect day. Take it from me personally, if you’re encountering any type of friction in your life that becomes unreasonable, it’s a sign you need to rewrite your perfect day. Pay attention to how long you live in a pain cycle. That’s the universe trying to tell you something. It’s your job to listen, and more importantly, do the work.

UNTETHERED LIVES

One of the results of doing the exercises mentioned in your search for truth is, you are going to encounter great change. As we grow, there are certain things and people that will change starting with…….YOU.

First, you’re searching and working on something else. Your focus and attention are on those things or people. What ends up happening is, you find certain friends not calling you, loved ones making jabs at you infused with resentment, and in some instances, jealousy and envy extend their hands to grasp your throat to snuff out your life. At this moment, you have a choice. Stay in this wretched existence and complain, or CHOOSE something else.

Keep moving forward. These are not your people, and those are not “your things.”

As human beings, we tend to want to set up camp, plant roots, maintain safety and consistency, even predictability. While that is great for establishing a permanent foundation, you have to find YOUR place and people before doing so. If you build your castle on a swamp, it’s probably going to sink. Give yourself the time to find a suitable spot made for creating a solid foundation with people who truly support you for who you are, not your value to them.

Change is difficult as we age if you’re not plyable in spirit. Over time we acquire anchors that make us responsible for things we may not need and require, but oftentimes, we accept them as part of the “unconditional” bonds formed between both people and things. What’s worse, is we hold on to things and relationships that do not feed us, or add value to our LIFE.

Be sure to make a list of the qualities of the types of people and things you have in your life.

2. Have a mission statement for your life, as businesses do for its organization.

3. Treat it as a guide to help you establish the culture you intend to live in during your time on Earth.

4. Make no apologies for ending relationships that detract you from your purpose.

5. Be willing to give it all back (including your material possessions)

DO THE WORK

There are two schools of thought. Actually, no just one. Those who think that writing theory makes you an expert. The difference between them and the rest is actually doing the work.

I wrote this article because I am connected to it emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.

I’ve watched, listened, and witnessed multiple people lie to me during a conversation. It’s disconcerting, but this is where the power of your spirit and intuition come into play. You must trust it.

There is one thing I hear that make me laugh and nod my head in agreement to date:

“You can’t keep it real with a fake motherfucker.”- Ryan Stewman

This is where things can get confusing for most people. To determine something is real, you have to dive into the minds of the individuals sharing their truth. Are they wrong? Are they liars? Are they delusional? Are they manipulators?

ANSWER: It doesn’t matter. Who are you to tell someone they are wrong? That’s their truth. If they believe it to be true, then it must be, correct?

Not if it smells like bullshit.

The fact remains, everyone lies. I’ve lied to myself many times during my life, and the disappointment, sadness, destruction, and loss all came from one source; me.

I am responsible for everything in my life. The circumstances, the people, the situations, the actions, reactions, all of it is because of my choices. Seeing this on the screen now has revealed the one thing that got me out of every time I caught myself lying to me……..doing the work. It’s not enough to maintain; you have to consistently do the work.

Doing the work doesn’t mean only doing the actual physical labor, but taking the time to dive deep and evaluate what is necessary to work on EVERY SINGLE DAY:

THE GCODE

a. Gratitude- Being Thankful

b. Genetics- Working out and eating right; living a non-traditional life

c. Grind- Constantly developing your skillset and creating opportunities for yourself

d. Group- The people you live, love, and work with on a regular basis

Following this method laid out by Break Free Academy has helped me and many others limit the distractions and create a foundation of accountability and predictable results in all areas of life.

FOUNDATIONS OF FOCUS

At 43, I still have the positive disposition of a child, akin to Peter Pan. Recently, someone I’ve known for quite some time called me this in an attempt to make a jab, but they were silenced when I said, “So you’re saying you believe in him?” The change of the conversation on the other end of the line let me know my point was received.

If you’re struggling in your life, I want to share that things do improve if you follow some basic concepts:

a. Unpack your life, and give it all back. If it’s not for you, do not keep anything or anyone creating chaos in your life.

b. Be Grateful for all of it; everything from waking up, the people you have in your life, to the opportunities you have.

c. Love Yourself and say good things, the positive things about who you are in the present moment. Eat well. Exercise. You were created for magnificence, so focus on those things. You will begin to find your power and show the universe you’re ready for magnificent things and people to be invited in.

d. Work your ass off without distractions.

e. Do great things with great people.

Ask Yourself:

Am I the best version of who I am? Am I living the best version of my life?

If not, follow the GCODE. Here you will find clarity, and in this clarity, you will find your focus.

Your focus alone will reveal everything your life is intended to be, and that’s…………